Why We don't Serve Fried Eggs at Thanksgiving

We’ve finally, after 5 years, been mentioned in the Post-Gazette for our brunches. (http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/09134/969923-242.stm)

Brunch is kind of a departure for us—so I surmise that past reviewers of Gypsy have chosen not to touch on our Brunch because it might seem a little far afield within the text of a dining review. Also, if anyone has tried to mention it, I’m guessing its “subject apart”-ness was an easy space cut for an editor on the prowl!

The following is also a cut from an editor—that editor being me. I got off on a tangent as I thought about why Brunch can be such a challenging mealtime for even the most seasoned cook. The short answer is—because it’s different. Different ingredients, different technique, different pace altogether…..

Why We Don’t Serve Fried Eggs at Thanksgiving

It’s Thanksgiving at your house and you’re tasked with all the last minute stuff just before dinner is served. Make the gravy, carve the turkey, check, top, and finish all of the casseroles, whip the potatoes...you know how hectic that is, right? Now make it interesting. Your family prefers to be served their choices on individual plates. Now tacked to the refrigerator right in your eye line appear 20 handwritten slips dictating each person’s choices. So now you must carefully arrange and portion—don’t want Aunt Mary getting more Turkey than Aunt Martha—all of those plates to be served at once, hot. And don’t forget the cranberry garnish!

Now, pretend Thanksgiving happens at your house every day.

It’s Thanksgiving every day in a restaurant kitchen, except you’re offering those 20 different dinners and a hundred possible plate combinations. And people are talking to you and asking you questions the whole time and the tickets don’t make sense sometimes and it’s hot and loud…and your whole family has to leave for the theatre at the same time. But you’re used to this. You do it all the time. You’d get pretty good at it, right? After a while, you’ve got your rhythm down, got everything working smoothly…but here’s where we ratchet up the craziness. Just when you think you know what to expect, in the midst of all this, Uncle Arthur wants two fried eggs. Now.

Here’s where a simple egg in a pan becomes a challenge. Eggs aren’t always as easy as they look, especially in a professional kitchen going full tilt. Eggs aren’t forgiving. Eggs don’t let you walk away to do something else. Eggs demand your attention. All those rhythms you’ve got down? Gone. Because now you’ve got a very different menu to prepare. Now 6 days a week you offer Thanksgiving, and one day a week you have to change everything over to Easter Brunch.

I put in quite a few hours at a very fine restaurant in Pittsburgh well known for everything it does—including Brunch. The food, the facility, the talent—all top notch then, now, and always. But I have to tell you, if at any time that kitchen had a problem—or God forbid went down for a minute, it happened at Brunch.

There is a story about a Chef I know. He’s at a country club now, but I knew him back in the day. He was the Chef cooking French with a strong classical background, a demanding Continental menu, and a “take no prisoners” personality. His waitress girlfriend told me a story about a day he just broke down in the middle of the line. On this particular hectic Saturday, she had a rare table with a child in the upscale restaurant. She put in an order for a grilled cheese for the child…and the Chef stared at her blankly. He had no idea what she meant by “grilled cheese”. She tried in vain to explain the concept of melted cheese on toasted bread, to no avail. He simply didn’t get it. He tried vainly to cross-reference her order against his Continental menu, his high French background, and nothing. She got behind the line, pushed him aside, and fried up some kid-friendly grilled cheese. When he snapped out of his confused stupor, of course he knew what she meant! Grilled cheese! Like grade school cafeteria simple as it comes regular old GRILLED CHEESE! Was he crazy for not understanding her? Only in context. Only in the context of pressured, Saturday night, classical fine dining. It was just too hard to shift gears.

In the PG article, China Millman quotes Chef Anthony Bourdain as describing Brunch as “punishment block for the B-team cooks." But it’s more than punishing your B Team by making them show up at an un-Godly early hour. It’s a psychological challenge for a seasoned cook, accustomed to a pattern, a progress, a reliable outcome on a menu she knows well enough to cook in the dark. It’s shifting gears, and fast. That is why great restaurants with great Chefs hate Brunch and the unforgiving Eggs that expect unwavering attention, that cook at a different pace than anything else one sautés, that can’t be stopped and restarted or fixed once past fixing.

And that’s why every Chef who knows anything at all respects the hell out of a good short order cook.

And that’s why we don’t serve fried eggs at Thanksgiving.